The reality of our opening and closing
Real life isn’t open posture all the time.
Real life is when your business keeps running and you’re ugly crying in the shower over a lost brother.
Real life is going to open posture to soothe the tightness around your heart when someone gets taken too soon, but it also letting yourself curl again up until you’re ready to unfurl again, in the pattern we call living.
I hate to think that my work makes you feel anymore shame for the need to curl up. It isn’t wrong, it’s the most primal position of them all. Curled up like a baby blossom, growing body parts and organs and nerves and tubes for life. A collection of delicate petals that is always repatterning to the light, closing at night to collect the dew for nourishment in the heat of tomorrow.
My work is just having the tools for when you’re ready to unfurl, again. Not that we ever finishing mourning the hard parts of this life, but we learn to wrap them into parts of our body in a way that feels more like a well loved quilt and less like a dammed river.
Healing and opening isn’t that we cut the memory of sorrow, grief, or trauma from our bodies but we soothe ourselves into molding them into movable layers of us. They become the kindling that helps us connect with others with potency and do our lives’ work.
So the next time you need to curl up, remind yourself it’s natural, too. Needed, even. And when you’re called to open, I’m here wrapping my own grief, mistakes, arguments and selfishness into a real metabolization of what’s possible out of this life. Not what’s perfect, not who we think we need to be more like, but becoming exactly who we were made to be.
This weekend looked like packing up a beach life I thought we’d never stop wanting, losing a brother that feels something like losing a body part and growing my capacity to close and choose to open again through it all.
I’ll be sharing my thoughts and the nerdy research I love doing in these newsletters on a regular basis.
Probably usually less deep than this one and more about why you really want to have your tongue on the roof of your mouth or how your body is literally reshaping itself for you in every moment.
But this is real. And I’m glad you’re here.
All my love,
Dr. Lily